Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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