You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
