Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
