Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize