When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
