I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
