It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
