D3 body, D1 cock
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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