How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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