I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
