you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
