The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
