it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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