you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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