Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
