Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
