You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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