I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
