Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
