Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Terrible idea I love it
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
