As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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