You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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