I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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