I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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