No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
my poor anus
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Randomize
