Say something about gay babies.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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