I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
