Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
