she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
