Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
