I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
