We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
