Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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