I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
