I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Randomize