i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
