with your own penis?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
