Your face is a jimmy john
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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