Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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