All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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