Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
