Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
