I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
