so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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