K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
