Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize