11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
