Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
my shit smells like andre
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
