He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
