? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
