garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
