Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he shaved USA in his pubs
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
