Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
