College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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