Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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