I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize