bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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