his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
