What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
