Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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