i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
