no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize