so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He passed out mid-signature
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
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