Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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