Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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