am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize